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[17 Dec 2007|12:54am] |
patterns in my life that i trace everyday
patterns as i say the things i always say
patterns in the ceiling as i lie awake
why are patterns haunting every move i make?
just look, here i am on cue again
upset, feeling torn in two again
afraid, saying i'm okay,
making little jokes
til i run away again
and yet today i am not the same
i feel my life slipping from it's frame
strange feelings rise
feelings with no name
and i can't face them so i shake them hard
fold them up
and tuck them safely away
again
patterns that begin as i walk through the door
patterns in the curtains and the kitchen floor
patterns in the days routines i must arrange
patterns in the ways i try but never change
just look, as i'm thrown a curve again
i leap, then i lose my nerve again
in tears running home i go
secretly relieved
safe with what i know again
and yet i know i am not the same
inside my heart is something i can't tame
i feel my mind bursting into flame
and i must change or else i'll break apart
or break away
and end up having to start again
patterns through the day i seem to use to give my life a shape
patterns through the house that give me comfort when i need escape
patterns that lead me nowhere at all.
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[09 May 2007|01:59pm] |
this is my horoscope for today.. and it couldn't be more appropriate-
Look into your heart for answers. There's more evidence in there than you realized. While the tangible facts are easy to weigh, it's the more ephemeral matters that really count in a situation like this. Inquire within.
i just finished my jury. i have to see a play tomorrow night. then i go home. i don't even want to leave.. i'm scared.
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[02 Feb 2007|02:38am] |
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mood |
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 scared |
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The very thought of you and I forget to do
The little ordinary things that everyone ought to do
I'm living in a kind of daydream
I'm happy as a king
And foolish though it may seem
To me that's everything
The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love
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| long overdue... |
[27 Jan 2007|04:42pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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more than anyone - gavin degraw |
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it's been a while since i've posted, and it's been AGES since i've posted a public entry. mike reminded me about my journal yesterday, and i figured it was time to say hi.. among other things.
i'll start with new years..
mike invited me to spend new years eve with him and his family, and it was really wonderful. before we left for his aunt's house, he asked me to be his girlfriend.. which was quite adorable.. and of course i said yes. it's a scary feeling.. but so incredible. he just makes me really really happy.
of course the next day i had to leave the country.. not that i should complain, because i went to italy. we started in rome.. spent a few days there.. then spent an afternoon in sienna, then headed to prato, which stayed in for 10 days. prato was my favorite part for a few reasons.. 1, it was a REAL italian town. it wasn't touristy, and we got a really good idea of how they live, without tourist traps and americanized food. 2, it was a very short train ride away from florence. that way, we got the small town and the big city, and easy transportation between the two. 3, it was beautiful!! and soo chill. it's a very different lifestyle. they really have their priorities in order. they make time for family, even if it means having their shop closed for an afternoon. everyday, the stores are close from 1-3:30 so everyone can go eat lunch with their families and rest. everything closes pretty early too, and after work, the whole town goes for a walk. i couldn't imagine going from there to the fast-paced, money-crazy american lifestyle i'm used to.
after 10 days in prato, studying at monash university there, we went to verona, which was gooorgeous, and we headed home soon after. the trip was really great.. spent a lot of time with my lovely livejournal friend stacy! ate a lot of great food, drank a lot of wine, learned a lot. it was worth it.
the day after i got home, a gorgeous bouquet of flowers was delivered to my door. mike had them sent over :-D he's so great.. and i missed him so so much while i was away.
so now i'm back at school..been back for about a week. things are going well.. took it easy last week, didn't really have classes. had my evaluation.. which was a little confusing. they told me i have to stop "casting myself as the mom".. which is funny, because they just casted me in songs for a new world and i'm singing just one step, and there's nothing more jewish mother than that. they said i have to realize that i'm a pretty young girl.. but that's really hard for me. definitely going to work on that this semester, and hopefully they'll give me chances to.
my mom called me today and said that my grandmother is giving me her ring.. which has my great grandmother's diamond in it. she wants us to bring it back with us when we see her over spring break. random that she decided to give it to me now, but i'm glad she is.. my great grandmother was an incredible woman, and she meant a lot to me and my family. it's nice to know that someday i can carry a part of her with me like that.
anyway, i've been a bum today.. should really do some cleaning and maybe some work. i have a movement paper due this week? and my winterterm journal and final.. and recruitment is this week, so it's gonna be crazy. at least i don't start rehearsals for a while, and i have time to spend with friends. music man was my LIFE at the end of last semester, so it's good to see everyone again. things are just..really good. knocking on my head that they stay that way :o)
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[11 Nov 2006|01:18pm] |
you kids out there in livejournal land probably think my posts are boring and don't make sense, but i got this horoscope today and i just had to save it. here seemed like a good place to store it.
Dear Holly,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Saturday, November 11:
Take a risk when it comes to love. A little romantic speculation can have surprisingly good results. The stars favor bold moves. Deal with any lingering doubts and whatever you're going after, go after it all the way.
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| words of wisdom |
[03 Nov 2006|02:46pm] |
Dear Holly,
Here is your horoscope
for Friday, November 3:
In your desire to make the people you care about happy, you could impulsively say yes to a situation that taxes too many of your precious resources. Remember, your happiness is your responsibility, too.
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| i took the personality test on sparklife.. |
[01 Oct 2006|04:15am] |
You are a Healer!
(Submissive Extroverted Concrete Feeler)
You are a HEALER (SECF)— caring, good with people, and patient. You are completely selfless and full of love. As a concrete feeler, you do well with your emotions, which are very strong. You understand and appreciate *why* you feel the way you do, and for the most part you're at peace with yourself.
Suffering in the world really pisses you off.
In relationships, it's easy for you to get hurt. Avoid all kinds of dominant (D***) people, *especially* in dating or marriage. You are a motherly figure, even if you're a guy. If you're a girl, make sure you're a mom some day. The world's children need people like you.
On the rare occasions when you try to assert yourself, you're cute and awkward, but highly effective.
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[24 Sep 2006|09:22am] |
Dear Holly,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Sunday, September 24:
Tired of being an eternal Goldilocks when it comes to love and always finding suitors who are too hot, too cold, but never just right? Be specific about what you want from love and you'll get exactly that.
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| "Nobody's Side" ..it's fitting. |
[24 Jul 2006|08:19pm] |
Everybody's playing the game
But nobody's rules are the same
Nobody's on nobody's side
Better learn to go it alone
Recognize you're out on your own
Nobody's on nobody's side
The one I should not think of
Keeps rolling through my mind
And I don't want to let that go
No lovers ever faithful
No contract truly signed
There's nothing certain left to know
And how the cracks begin to show!
Never make a promise or plan
Take a little love where you can
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never stay too long in your bed
Never lose your heart, use your head
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never take a stranger's advice
Never let a friend fool you twice
Nobody's on nobody's side
Everybody's playing the game
But nobody's rules are the same
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never leave a moment too soon
Never waste a hot afternoon
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never stay a minute too long
Don't forget the best will go wrong
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never be the first to believe
Never be the last to deceive
Nobody's on nobody's side
Never make a promise or plan...
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[23 May 2006|10:57pm] |
Dear Holly,
Here is your horoscope
for Wednesday, May 24:
Assuming everyone else has a perfect life is a surefire ticket to Self-pityville. However, facing facts will get you out of there on the express train. Everyone has problems. They're just all different.
yes, definitely yes.
shiiiiit.
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| my white knight |
[18 May 2006|08:59pm] |
so i went to see my therapist today, and most of the session was spent discussing my dating issues.. because when you're sitting at home with nothing to do, you think about somethinggg, and this seems to be my something.
she asked me what i want in a guy.. what i'm attracted to.. physically, mentally, all that jazz. so i decided to come up with a list.
now keep in mind, i'm not asking for exactly this. but if i could imagine a guy right now, make him come to life, i guess this would be it. and there is reasoning behind all of it.
average height
average weight
not too pretty
not too homely
cute, but sort of scruffy
clean
non-smoker
loves dogs
appreciates theatre, but isn't in theatre
jewish
likes me a lot, but isn't obsessive
understands and appreciates my humor
doesn't hold grudges
goes with the flow
embraces the awkwardness
can go back and forth from being the aggressor to not being the aggressor
likes my friends and is willing to hang out with us and deal with the crazy musicaltheatreness
likes going out and staying in, and can balance the right amount of both
appreciative
affectionate
that's all i have for now. maybe it's a lot. i don't know. but i'm just hoping there's someone out there that has most of those qualities.. that will like me.
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[16 May 2006|10:45pm] |
point 1 - i hated my first therapist because she had rabbit teeth
point 2 - for about 30 seconds tonight, i had a crush on taylor hicks. then he spoke.
point 3 - i should stop having crushes. they only annoy me
point 4 - i have been home for 3.5 days. i have done... not much of anything. i'm ready to move.
point 5 - i really miss my school friends. i made some AMAAAZING friends this year, and i'm so lucky.
ok, done.
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| REVALATION |
[15 May 2006|12:42am] |
i date guys that i know i could never really really like! i was just talking to sam and i realized it.
wow. i should stop doing that.
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[24 Apr 2006|11:48am] |
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soo ready for summer! just a few more weeks.. :o)
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| it's been a while..but this is true |
[09 Mar 2006|02:55pm] |
the Adventurer
Test finished!
you chose AX - your Enneagram type is SEVEN.
"I am happy and open to new things"
Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world.
How to Get Along with Me
Give me companionship, affection, and freedom.
Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter.
Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories.
Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am.
Be responsible for youself. I dislike clingy or needy people.
Don't tell me what to do.
What I Like About Being a Seven
being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down
being spontaneous and free-spirited
being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun.
being generous and trying to make the world a better place
having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures
having such varied interests and abilities
What's Hard About Being a Seven
not having enough time to do all the things I want
not completing things I start
not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career
having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies
feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship
Sevens as Children Often
are action oriented and adventuresome
drum up excitement
prefer being with other children to being alone
finesse their way around adults
dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up
Sevens as Parents
are often enthusiastic and generous
want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life
may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages
You liked the test? so please RATE it...
but remember! it had only two questions!!! ;-)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose AX
Would you rather have chosen:
BX (NINE)
CX (TWO)
AY (EIGHT)
AZ (THREE)
My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 70% on ABC
You scored higher than 32% on XYZ
If you liked my test, send it to your friends!
The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=12721960859055255705
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[06 Jan 2006|12:56pm] |
i almost gave up on this thing, but i had a sudden urge to check out my friends page, so i figured i'd update.
the cruise was AMAZING. i met some incredible people, and i definitely didn't want to leave. did you know that a lot of cute jewish boys live in toronto?
anyway,
i'm now sick, and trying to figure out what's wrong.
arg, gotta run..
happy new year
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[21 Dec 2005|10:24pm] |
i'm leaving for florida tomorrow. it's only in the 60's in miami. that's disappointing. however, i'll be in mexico, belize, and grand cayman soon after. the cruise leaves friday morning. i'll be gone until january 2nd.
i'm not sure how i'll survive without my phone.. or my friends.
i miss my school friends.
i'll try to update from the boat.
not that i update from home or school very often.
facebook gets more amusing by the day.
i got a lot of cute clothes and shoes for this trip, the weather better rock.
my dad checked the box that said i could drink beer and wine. could get interesting.
i just packed all of my brothers stuff, and just got in trouble for not packing more of his stuff. better go do that.
cinderelly cinderelly.
ok that's a lie, just spent thousands on clothes and i'm going on a cruise.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!! hope they're fabulous, stay warm
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[18 Dec 2005|04:10pm] |
so jake can't find someone to move in. and i really can't pay. i just posted this in the hartt group. seriously, if you know anyone that wants an apartment in hartford, PLEASEEEEEEE read.
hey everyone.. hope finals went well and whatnot..
so for most of this past semester, i lived off campus, but around thanksgiving, i had to move back on campus. i lived in a great apartment off of asylum, and my roommate was amazing, but i had reasons, nothing to do with the apartment or the roommate, to move back on campus. we are currently looking for someone to take my spot. rent is $325 a month. the apartment is big, 2 big bedrooms, a huge kitchen with a dishwasher, microwave, the works. and 1 full bath. it's only about 5 minutes from campus, tops. the roommate, a sophomore guy, is reliable and friendly. if anyone is at all interested or knows someone that might be, PLEASE contact me. my email is hgreenber@hartford.edu.
thanks so much!
happy holidays!!!
-holly
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[06 Dec 2005|09:13am] |
it's been too long.
quick update, because i have to get ready for class...
so things are good, i'm just very stressed because it's the last week of classes and i have a bunch of finals and a lot of written work. i moved on campus, and i'm loving it. my roommates are great. but.. jake can't find someone to move in. so if you're reading this, and you go to hartford, and you know someone that wants to move off campus.. let me know!! it's a great apartment, i just need to be on campus.
my dad booked a cruise.. a 10 day one.. over christmas and new years. i'm definitely looking forward to the sun. my dad, my brother, my grandma, and her boyfriend are going. i get my own room. i think it'll be nice to get away, i just hope there isn't drama.
and spring break, i signed up for the habitat for humanity alternative spring break, and my friends are going, so that should be cool.
katie and i went on a little trip to mohegan sun and newport and it was great. we saw the barenaked ladies in concert and stayed at mohegan sun, which is gorgeous btw. i kinda wanna go for my 21st.
so yea.. gotta get ready.. but best way to keep up is probably through my picturetrail..
http://www.picturetrail.com/loshi
much love...
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[24 Nov 2005|12:17am] |
i am thankful for a lot of things this year.
just saw ypt aida at cap. i just.. really like this song. it's pretty brilliant.
We all lead such elaborate lives
Wild ambitions in our sights
How an affair of the heart survives
Days apart and hurried nights
Seems quite unbelievable to me
I don't want to live like that
Seems quite unbelievable to me
I don't want to love like that
I just want our time to be slower and gentler, wiser, free
We all live in extravagant times
Playing games we can't all win
Unintended emotional crimes
Take some out, take others in
I'm so tired of all we're going through
I don't want to live like that
I'm so tired of all we're going through
I don't want to love like that
I just want to be with you now and forever, peaceful, true
I wish I had the courage
To tell you face to face
But I could wait forever
For the perfect time and place
We all live such elaborate lives
We don't know whose words are true
Strangers, lovers, husbands, wives
Hard to know who's loving who
Too many choices tear us apart
I don't want to live like that
Too many choices tear us apart
I don't want to love like that
I just want to touch your heart, may this confession be the start
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